I was walking down the street dragging my feet. It was the end of November, the first snow had fallen leaving the streets slippery. Everything was grey: the slush on the ground, the sky, the walls of houses, people's faces, my mind. My loving state of mind had all but vanished during these couple of weeks since the latest sitting of Uranus. I had, you see, started arguing with people! A strange contradiction had come to my life: the more I tolerated mankind in general, the harder I found it to get along with my neighbors. How come I hadn't noticed before how intolerable people are? All my life they had bossed me around and manipulated me. I hadn't been able to be myself and I had been downright used because of my kindness. How come I had let it happen?

The love exercises of Uranus didn't help me in this case. Besides, I didn't want to forgive them just like that. I wanted to get even first, so that they would realize how they had treated me! Furthermore, I had started to doubt Uranus; yes, he talked beautifully about love but his teachings would, in the worst case scenario, lead to the point where I would be alone in the world soon. I couldn't even imagine staying in touch with the present friends of mine; they were so superficial and stupid. It all was Uranus' fault! I was satisfied with my friends before, but now that I had begun to realize this and that, no one was good enough for me. It almost felt that it would have been better to keep on living unconsciously. Or could it be that I had always been aware of those drawbacks in my relationships but hadn't wanted to see them?

Even though my enthusiasm for Uranus had cooled down a bit, I felt a kind of attraction to his magic world. I had, after all, learned a thing or two from him about the life of man. Would I get some help from him to my life which was in a knot? Had I comprehended his teachings somehow wrong? If I never met him again, would I stay in this state for the rest of my life? Well, one could always give it a try...

- Uranus, the more I'm aware of myself and get to balance with myself, the more I argue with my surroundings. It feels like the Mother Theresa budding in me is being overcome by Jack the Ripper, I said sitting once again comfortably on Sofia's couch.

Uranus (Anja?) smiled a little before he answered:

- You feel that you are becoming more sensitive which means that the different parts in you are acting stronger, and you also feel them more intensely. For the first, man becomes more sensitive, and through this sensitizing, everything else inside him is speeding up and intensifying. Man feels more intensely, for he is more intensely aware. Then he notices his own emotions, for he is also aware of his negative emotions, the feelings of anger. In addition to himself, he is aware of his surroundings, or the overall state which is formed when he and the surroundings meet. Then his concepts, his comprehension and his value system change. Man's self-preservation instinct rises to action, for he is aware of the state he has been living in: falsehood, utilization and exploitation. Anger is then an instinctive emotion which rises to the surface, thus defending man, and man tries to change the state into what he wants with the help of it. In a way, anger creates a wall and gives man the courage to say: "I don't want to go on like this".

No emotions are bad as such, only the way we use them makes them bad or good. Every emotion is acceptable and allowed and serves man when he wants it. Emotions are only concepts, and you give them form with concepts, when hate can be a healing and protective emotion. Does it help us draw the necessary line or do we use the feeling of hate to maltreat another person? Every emotion has its own message and need, and we use them according to our own aspiration, for this aspiration molds the emotion and brings it use. When emotions arise in us, we can think about what this emotion is doing in me. Is this stage helping me feel better and do I want to keep it? If things serve me, they also create balance in me. If the people in our surroundings have not changed but act the same way as before, we can no longer accept everything in our altered state. With the help of anger, we can say the words: "I used to see, do and experience like that but now I experience and see like this. I can no longer accept that for myself in any way". In this way we serve ourselves with the help of this emotion, create and maintain balance in ourselves, and also help this other person with our own honesty. We give him a mirror, and with the help of this mirror, he can see himself in another way if he wants to. Then the feeling of anger serves both, for we use it to create balance and we use it to serve.

In your world, a lot of bad things are done in the name of love; we can love one another so immensely that we begin to control one another with the help of love. In our great love we know what is good for the other person; then we are harming him with the help of love. Then we are interfering with the personality of the other and are trying to shape it according to our own will and view, surpassing the boundary of freedom. Then love is harming both us and the other person, for control is always harmful. It violates the person's freedom trying to realize its own will; control is always a blind state which does not see itself as a whole.

In your culture, there is a lot of dammed up anger in people because everyone here wants to be a good human being. If you want to be a good human being, you do not dare to be what you want; instead, you have to be like the person wants in front of whom you want to be good. Then it is about manipulation, power and submission.Every thing and exercise that I have given is aiming at the fact that your whole would unfold and you would get into yourself more and more and you would also, through this sensitizing exercise, learn to be more and more aware of your states. Then this entity inside you starts slowly turning into automation, and you can always realize you own state, to act from your own state, and also express your own state. In this way everything you do is building yourself for your own best interest; the more sincerely and truthfully you do it, the more extensive  energy field opens in you, when it is repeated.